33 | patience, possibilites, & peace

Everyone always talks about how when one door closes another opens. But what if you intentionally close the door? The next door does not always open right away. Case and point, I intentionally closed the door on my masters degree - I mean, I graduated with my Master of Arts in Integrated Studies, but that is still a closed door - a completed and achieved goal - with no immediate open one.

So what does that mean? Was it just a goal to acheive? A milestone to check off the list of arbitrary milestones? The hope with the closing of that door is that it would help open a door I've been trying to open for a while. It's not quite open yet, but more steps have been taken to get the door to open.

But this got me thinking about what does it look like to be open to the possibilites when you're not sure what they look like? How can you make sure you are ready for 'what's next' when you may not know what the 'next' is? I think part of it is not holding on so tightly to a "set" timeline. It's an easy trap to fall into when you are focused on a goal, but the reality is sometimes things do not work out within the confinments of an imagined timeline. Not to say that things are not working out "on time" in the sense of God's timing. And that requires patience - which is sometimes not an easy thing to exercise.

There is also the possibility to be overwhlemed by the possibilites. To get caught up in the "what if"s and become paralyzed by the analysis that comes with assessing the possibilies before you. This, at least to me, feels like an easy trap to fall into. As simple as someone just sticking their foot out and tripping you. BUT I think when we are at peace about the choices behind us, the ones before us do not seem quite as daunting.

So in looking back over this last year and looking a smidge to the future, I see possibilities and patience. There are plenty of possible doors to walk through, but we're exercising patience to ensure we step through the door that is fully open. Hopefully the preparation that has been done will be enough to be ready to walk through the door. Because not every door that is open is a door that should be walked through. Gotta find the one that has a sense of peace about it.

the following isn't connected to the above post, but it is the list of books that I rated 4 or above over the last year, if you're looking for some quick book recs:

Top Reads of the Last Year

• Survive the Night by Riley Sager

• How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristen Perrin

• The House of a Thousand Candles by Meridith Nicholson

• The Night Agent by Matthew Quick

• Towards Zero by Agatha Christie

• With a Vengeance by Riley Sager

• Sounds Like Love by Ashley Poston

• Stunned by Grace by Frank Friedmann