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  • Writer's pictureKara Chatham

Beauty of the Mess

Sometimes I feel trapped in this box of pressure to find the perfect companion, but there is no such thing. Simply because no human is perfect. We are all messed up and broken. I have conversations all the time with friends about how we are physically broken – torn ligaments, missing cartilage in knees, stuff that we probably should consider getting the surgical treatment for but choose to not. I wonder what would happen if we talked about other kinds of brokenness, because we are all broken. In every sense of the word – WE ARE BROKEN.

If we were not broken, then there would not be a need for Jesus. He came to fix our brokenness. Because of this, why do we place so much pressure on finding “the one”? I am just as guilty as the next of saying “I am looking for the perfect one for me”. I could try to give all the excuses as to why I say this, but that does not take any of the pressure to be perfect away. Brokenness still exists.

Sometimes I think of new relationships as blank canvases and the people involved in the relationship are the artists and the experiences are the paint used upon it. Have you ever seen one of those canvases that are simply covered in splatter? So many different colors mixing together looking like one giant, beautiful mess! Yes, I said beautiful mess. That is what relationships are – beautiful messes. Not everyone can handle the messes, which is why there are so many relationship issues. I’m not saying that it is easy to handle the messes, because it’s not. It’s a matter of what are you willing to put up with and fight through. Can you find the beauty of the mess before you? It is truly a beautiful thing when you see what makes your mess so awesome. Because all messes have something awesome within them. Just trust me on this one.

Now, this is true of all relationships, not just dating ones. All relationships are beautiful messes. Each color thrown at the canvas is a representation of what the relationship has been through. No human relationship is perfect. So why do we spend so much time placing pressure on having "perfect" relationships? It's like putting pressure on finding the last unicorn. It's a fantasy. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good fantasy. But this isn't a good fantasy. It's a destructive one.

Now... I'm not saying I have this figured out or that I know what I'm talking about. Because I most definitely do not. I am still putting all of the pieces together. But this is what I have learned in my experience with the relationships I have had.

Until next time... Kara

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